time heals as it should

When things get real low you think it'll never change. There are certain points where you just can't see the end of the tunnel. it's overwhelming. The cliche' when people say "time heals everything" makes me so mad when i'm going through something that actually needs time to make things better. But as that time is passing i realize its the only medicine for a sick heart. it doesn't heal it. it's like mono, you always have it, but it's in hibernation mode.

I think about time a lot. How many years til Kaylin's 18, when will i finish my degree, how much longer before i have my own house with a yard so kaylin can go outside by herself, can get a dog, blah blah blah... well none of that matters if you aren't here. i realize it's ok to plan things out, but you can't force them to happen. you can't use all your energy on setting up how things should be when you should be concentrating on the here and now and how you can make yourself and those around you better. better in any way.

I lost a friend this weekend. She taught me that patience really is a virtue. Sit in silence, be quiet, be still, listen to YOU and block out all outside influence. It's difficult to do that. especially for someone like me. she was a confidant and true friend, and way too young to leave this earth. but "it was her time" so 'they' say... that's what people say when someone dies.... it was their time... time. goes so fast even as you are thinking it's going so slow. it can be gone in a blink without warning. it's something to respect.

kaylin told me today that when i'm 102 she'll take care of me. i told her it's a possibility. she said "well yea!!" i can't wait to watch her grow and see how much she's going to learn about this world and the people in it.

Things I've learned as of late, if you surround yourself with your family, with good people, the rest will take care of itself.