Just a Ride

It's hard not to take life so seriously sometimes. There is that healthy medium that you're supposed to find between being apathetic and stressing about everything under the sun. So, where is the healthy medium and how do you control it?

I like Bill Hicks' concept of life being a ride. Twists and turns, thrills and chills, brightly colored, and loud. It's just a ride.

You choose your own path. You can change your life completely by making choices that will effect everything. What power. and I suppose having the "it's just a ride" mentality would help with reinforcing that it is ok to take risks, follow what you really want, make those choices, not go along with the other sheeple and things will most likely end up as they should.

Listen:

Bill Hicks "Point to Life"

Where is this going?

I am not sure what it is that enables me to do things that I tell myself I will not do. Absolutely not do. I don't think it's that I don't believe myself when I say it. Emotions can be joyous and evil.

Most people have that point of time in their life where they don't know what's going on. they don't know anything... they don't know what they want to do with their life, or why they are on this earth. They are confused. Most people have this happen when they are 20-23... I seem to be having mine at 27.

I don't know anything, I'm no longer pretending to. So many of you seem to have your shit together and I'm not sure if you really do, or if you just pretend. Regardless, I'm not pretending anymore. I know absolutely nothing about this life and I'm not going to pretend.

When I think I have it figured out is basically the time I can stop the clock and wait for the proverbial shoe to drop. I know a lot of you may say "If you think that way it will be that way"... well, no. I've been 110% convinced it WON'T be that way, and it always goes back to crap...

What makes you happy? I don't even know what makes me happy anymore. My daughter does, but she's not with me all the time, and it's just me stuck with me. I'm acting out on purpose. I would love to say that I don't care, because that's definitely something I would say. I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT. That's a lie. I totally give a shit. I hate giving a shit. How much easier would it be if I didn't.